the pale screeching of vehicles inevitably creep in through my shut windows as i sit here tonight: cigarette in hand, fingers darting about the keyboard in a somewhat beautiful symphony as i recollect the past few weeks - ive know them for abit, quite a long while in fact, and it never occurred to me that they would mean this much to me this very day. My sigh of relief that im alive and functioning this very moment is heaved with the accompaniment of a fresh breath of smoke. I love you guys.
ben always seemed to me like the kind of guy everyone wanted to be. (btw ben if you’re reading this, fuck man, major ego boost) He had it figured out. Life in check, girls, style, swagger - basically all that jazz. He seemed like he couldn’t give a smack if the world ended right beneath his two feet. Confidence radiated from his very soul, that he had done all that he has needed to do. But we all know the definition of the word ‘seemed’, for he has shown me that he is more than just that impressive exterior. Hours spent talking to me, and teaching me how i should and should not view certain aspects of life. Hours spent cheering me up, and cheering me on. Hours spent showing me how to truly be myself, and sometimes just not giving a fuck is just the thing to do. I always saw him as just another a friend, and now i see him as a brother.
jethro first gave the impression of someone i couldn’t trust with anything. The compulsive lying used to be a problem and it bothered me being in his presence. I never thought that today he would be the one i entrusted with all my troubles, fears, secrets and thoughts. I never thought that today i’d enjoy his utter rubbish and nonsense that he spills out every living minute, never thought i’d know him like i do today. All that maturity, all that spirituality and emotions that are pouring from him, lying hidden behind the facade he carries as a jester. He kept me up when i was down, alongside with ben, and he made me smile when i was feeling like complete thrash. I never knew that today, i’d see him as a brother.
I remember the times when we were all high, and we kept a seemingly envisioned eye on each other, and when we poured our souls out in all that vulnerability, how we blurted the words of safety and encouragement. I remember cruising the streets and hustling whatever beer we could, and what i’d like to call the time of my life. Ill remember all these times, and ill never fucking forget. Im done with 3 cigarettes, and for todays little gratitude post, ive got many others to thank as well. ben and jet, if you ever see this, thank you so much for sticking by me with the guys when no one else cared, and for being some feet i could step on when i couldnt stand.
I never thought i’d miss making shapes out of clouds, lying on my rooftop, till making shapes became counting stars.
I never thought i’d miss writing songs for that someone i love, and singing them softly, over the phone, into her ear.
I never thought that being alone would ever be this hard, and that the one i swore i hate, would be who i would die to see.
I never thought that watching couples frolic on the street would affect me this much, but it does, knowing that was once us.
I never thought, but now i stop to think,
The good times always go with a blink,
And till that day whereby ill meet someone again,
Its just me, alone, walking down this lane.
But i swear to my last breath, thatll give her the world,
And stare at her with eyes full of love, as she curls-
her beautiful hair with the second finger,
As I hold her close, and allow her aroma to linger.
I’d write her the love songs, that’ll melt her heart which i bear,
And ill mean every line, every stanza, she no compare-
to any other girl that i’ll ever meet,
Shes gonna be that one person who sweeps me off my feet.